


No One Knows

by zarrati



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Fluff, post ep, pre washington fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some post " Win, Lose, or Draw" angsty fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Knows

 

The lights were low in the small bedroom, barely illuminating the boxes and suitcases that littered the floor. A man's life reduced to what can be shipped across the country. Boxes and bags passed back and forth between infinite sets of hands, not a single person knowing about the secrets hidden inside.

No one would know that tucked away amongst the sea of plaid in the box marked 'shirts', hid a woman's pale blue blouse. A blouse that had been left behind in a moment of haste mere days before the announcement of Leslie’s City Council campaign briefly tore the couple apart.

No one would know that for weeks during their breakup, he fell asleep clutching said blouse, inhaling her scent as if to pretend that she was still sleeping there beside him; that all of these months later, it was going to travel to Washington to serve the same purpose.

No one would know why a handful of photographs, a Washington Monument figurine, and a 'Knope 2012' pin were in a box labeled 'Fragile' despite their apparent lack of monetary value.

One might find that particular thought sobering: all of a man's earthly possessions packed away in a matter of hours with nothing more than the scribble of a permanent marker on a box to denote their significance.

But Ben Wyatt was used to this. His job traveling all over Indiana taught him how to pack up his belongings both quickly and efficiently in order to move on to the next town. The sight of his life stuffed into a suitcase was as familiar to him as his own hand, and while he hadn't had the need to put this particular skill to use for quite some time, he was able to have the majority of his things packed away in a few short hours.

That part he was used to.

What he wasn't used to was the feeling of leaving something behind. For years, he lived like a nomad, moving from town to town with nothing more than the few suitcases in his trunk and an overly exuberant partner as his constant company. His work consumed him, trying to prove to the world and himself that he was more than the mistakes of his youth. Making friends wasn't an option. What would be the point? In a few weeks, he would be gone; never to speak to them again. Besides, it was hard to make friends when half of the town either hated you or sucked up to you in an effort to salvage their budget.

But all of that was before Leslie Knope, the person who made Ben want to move to a little town called Pawnee, and the reason that he almost couldn't leave.

Ever since he was an impeached 18 year old mayor, Ben had been searching for a new place to call his home, and he found that in Pawnee. He never would have guessed when he first came to that bankrupt city filled with corn, raccoons, and obese toddlers that he would find a life there, a home, friends that would become his family. These were all things that Ben had almost given up on, believing that he'd never regain what he had in Partridge.

And now he was leaving, albeit temporarily, but that didn't at all lessen the sting.

It was his last night at home, and he was spending it exactly how he wanted to-- in bed with the love of his life in his arms. The past several hours had been a whirlwind of activity, the two of them dealing with Leslie's post-election obligations and packing for Ben's relocation to Washington. But now they just lay there, naked and wrapped in each other's arms as the sweat dried on their cooling bodies.

Leslie burrowed her face into Ben's chest as he dropped his head, immersing his nose into her hair. Every few seconds he would press a kiss to any part of her that happened to be the closest, ingraining the feel of her beneath his lips into the part of his mind reserved specifically for Leslie Knope. He had been doing that all night, paying extra attention to every little detail about her--her laugh, her smile, the way she bit her lip and furrowed her brow in concentration, the sounds that she would make as he touched her soft skin-- all being filed away, not knowing how long his own memories would have to hold him over until he saw her again.

His fingers drew nonsensical patterns along her bare back as she played with the hairs on his chest, neither one of them sure how to break the silence; neither one of them wanting to bring up their separation. He knew that they both had been putting off this discussion, as if not talking about it made it somehow less real.

During the flurry of packing, Ben had made one attempt to broach the subject, but Leslie quickly talked over him, pretending to suddenly be interested in one of his comic books. It was a classic Leslie Knope diversion technique that Ben knew all too well. He was going to push the topic, but the look that Leslie gave him halted him in his tracks. Her eyes were pleading, begging him to stop.

"Not yet," she had said, her voice barely above a whisper. "We will, just not yet."

Ben silently relented, and almost immediately Leslie put up her cheerful facade and continued packing as if those last few minutes never occurred, the task at hand a welcome distraction from her emotions.

So now Ben silently waited, relying on her to talk when she was ready. Seconds turned into minutes and still neither one of them spoke a word, the constant ticking of the wall clock the only sound in the room. That was until Ben heard the faint sound of Leslie's sniffles, obviously trying her best to suppress her tears.

He still remained quiet, simply wrapping his arms around her even tighter, pulling her as close to him as she could possibly be.

He wasn't going to tell her that she shouldn't be upset, because she should be. He wasn't going to tell her to stop crying, because she had every right to. He wasn't going to say all of those useless clichés that people use to cheer someone up. He was leaving and none of those would make her feel better-- would make him feel better.

He could feel her trembling beside him, the sheer effort of internalizing her emotions causing her to physically shake. Leslie was full of contradictions when it came to her feelings. There were times when she wore her heart on her sleeve, openly crying, yelling, or laughing whether it was appropriate or not. But then there were other times, times like their breakup, when she kept everything bottled up inside, refusing to allow her emotions to be known.

Ben had seen the tears that threatened to fall when he handed her that 'Knope 2012' pin, no matter how hard she had tried to suppress them. While he was eating soup alone on park benches, Leslie walked around apparently unfazed. But despite her large smiles, he still saw the sadness in her eyes, even if no one else noticed. And now, with his departure mere hours away, she was trying to be strong--whether for him or for herself, Ben wasn't sure, but the mere fact that Leslie felt that she had to hide how she felt broke his heart.

"It's okay, honey. You don't have to hold them in," Ben whispered to her, his lips hovering over her forehead. "Sometimes the only thing that you can do is cry, and that’s okay."

At Ben's words, the dam inside of Leslie broke and the tears came spilling out of her, her hands clutching him for dear life as she cried into his chest. Ben tried his best control his own feelings, to keep his voice steady as he whispered soothing words into her hair, but with every cry that Leslie released, his heart shattered, and it was getting harder and harder to keep his throat from constricting. Ironically, he wanted to be strong for _her_ , hold her, comfort her, but he didn't know how long he could last.

"I don't want you to go," he heard her choke out between cries, her voice muffled by his skin.

At that moment, Ben froze. His hands that were rubbing soothingly up and down her back stilled and his entire body went rigid. Did she mean it? Was she changing her mind about her decision to let him go? But they had talked about this. Yes, he would miss her like crazy, but they had agreed that this was an amazing opportunity for him; a huge career step. Was she taking it all back? Would Ben have to choose between Leslie and Washington? If he went to Washington anyway, would they break up? If he stayed in Pawnee, would he eventually grow to resent Leslie for making him choose?

A million questions raced through Ben's mind in that fraction of a second after those words left her mouth, his body about to go into panic mode. Leslie must have noticed his reaction, because almost immediately she amended her statement.

"I don't want you to go," she repeated, taking a deep breath and slowly trying to reign in her emotions, "but I know that you have to."

So this was it, the conversation that they had been putting off all day was finally going to happen. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, but he held his tongue. He would have his chance, but right now it was Leslie's turn to get everything off of her chest.

"I'm sorry. I know what I said yesterday, and I meant it, but everything just hit me all at once. All day I was just focusing on everything that we had to do because I didn't want to think about you leaving. I could just pretend today was just like any other day, but then, laying here with you, all I could think about was that this would be the last time we'd be like this until who knows when. I fully let it sink in that you're going to be gone for six months, and I just lost it. God, I feel so horrible. Everything that you've done for me, and I can't even keep it together."

"Hey," Ben said soft but firm in response to her self-criticism, "one has nothing to do with the other. You're allowed to be upset. Everything that I've done, I did because I love you and I believe in you; because I knew that being with you and helping you was more important to me than anything else. I haven't been keeping score and waiting for the opportunity for you to return the favor. What you're feeling is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. You don't need to hide how you feel from me."

Pulling back, Ben finally moved his face level with Leslie's, one hand framing her face as the other wiped away any remnants of tears. "I love you. I love every little thing about you, even the things you try to hide from me. You have such a big heart, and sometimes you internalize everything to spare everyone else's feelings. But you don't have to do that with me. I'll be gone for six months, and the only way that we can make it through all of this is if we're completely and totally open and honest with each other."

"I know. It's just hard for me sometimes."

"I know it is. And I don't expect that to change overnight. It's something that we're both going to need to work on, and it'll take time, but we can do it. It's gonna be hard, and I know that there'll be days when I miss you so much that I'll wonder what the hell I was thinking taking this job, but ultimately, everything will be okay."

"You're right, we can totally do this," she responded back, the determined light coming back into her eyes as his words sunk in. "Like I said, we'll try to visit each other as much as possible and talk all of the time and Skype and text and send pen pal letters. I'm going to miss you like crazy, but I know more than anything that you deserve this chance. You worked so hard and did so much that even Jen noticed. You're going to be so amazing in Washington. No matter what happens or how hard things get, never, ever forget how much I love you and how proud I am of you. I need you to know that."

He did know that. He knew that probably more than anything else. This woman--this amazing, strong, intelligent, beautiful woman-- loved him. Truly, deeply loved him, was proud of him, was willing to wait for him.

Ben remained silent for a moment, the impact of Leslie's words piercing him so deeply that he couldn't speak. So he didn't, instead moving to close the gap between them, brushing his lips over hers in a dance that they had perfected ages ago but never tired of.

Leslie eagerly reciprocated, her hand traveling up his chest, shoulders, and neck before it found residence in his hair, tugging and pulling as she tried to bring him as close to her as possible, her tongue pushing against his lips until he granted her entrance.

God, he loved it when she did that. The feel of her nails scraping against his scalp as she moaned and sighed into his mouth were usually enough to spur him on, and were he a younger man, he might have been ready for another round at that very moment. But unfortunately, his refractory period wasn't what it once was, so instead he relished in their kiss, his hand gripping her hip as he pulled her closer to him.

Eventually they broke apart for air, Ben resting his forehead against hers. "I love you so much," he whispered, his mouth mere inches from her own. "And I'm so proud of you, too. Everything that you've accomplished, everything that you've risked and sacrificed for this town-- I just can't put into words how much you've inspired me. I'm going to miss you so, so much, but once these six months are over, I'll be coming back home to you, and we can have dinner like normal people."

Her face broke out into one of her brilliant smiles and she let out a small, excited laugh. "Okay, it's a date."

Ben let out his own laugh from deep in his chest, a mixture of happiness and relief that they were able to get everything out in the open, and for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, Ben allowed his gaze to fall on his boxes and suitcases.

"Thank you for helping me pack everything up today," Ben said as he tightened his hold around Leslie's waist, his thumb lazily stroking her hipbone. "I know that it, uh, it might not have been easy for you."

"It wasn't so bad," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I actually enjoyed myself."

At Ben's disbelieving stare, Leslie let out laugh. "I'm serious, I did! I just tried not to dwell on why we were doing it." A large, genuine smile light up Leslie's face ever so briefly before she suppressed it. "I just pretended that we were--well, never mind. It's stupid."

"What? I saw that smile when you were thinking about it. Tell me."

"No," she groaned, "it's kind of embarrassing."

"Well, now you have to tell me," he replied with a mischievous grin, his fingers ghosting over her ribs where she was most ticklish.

"No, Ben!" Leslie shrieked as his hands moved rapidly across her midsection, the sound of her laughter music to his ears. "Okay, okay, okay, I surrender. I'll tell you," she conceded, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her laughter subsided. "I pretended that we--well, I just thought that's what it would be like some day. You know, if we ever decided to, uh, move in together."

Leslie kept her eyes down, staring at a spot on Ben's chest as her cheeks flushed. Out of all of the things that she could have possibly said, that was the last thing that he would have guessed. Not because he didn't want to. Quite the contrary actually. The thought of living with her, waking up next to her every single morning, his clothes hanging next to hers in the closet, they all gave him butterflies, a yearning deep in his chest to take that next step with her. He had thought about it a lot in the past few months. _Quite_ a lot. But with the stress of the campaign and now his move to Washington, that idea got pushed onto the back burner. But now, knowing that she might feel the same way, he decided to test the waters.

"Is that something you want? To live together?"

She was silent for a while; Ben knowing that she was struggling to decide what to say as she continued to avoid his gaze.

"Honestly?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, honestly."

"I thought about it a few times over the last couple of months, but everything was just so crazy with the campaign, and I wasn't sure about the election and our future, and we were so stressed. I don't know, I guess I just never really had the chance to think it over fully and what that would mean for us."

She let out a sigh, the smile that she tried to hide earlier once again lighting up her face. "But as we were boxing everything up and I thought about it, really thought about it, I realized just how much I wished it were true. Packing all of your things and imagining them next to mine--it just made me so happy. It just felt so perfect. So right. I've never felt like this about anyone before, and I think that I'm ready to take that next step with you. You know, whenever you're ready, too. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. Just, someday."

There was another moment of silence that passed between them, Ben mulling over what she had said as Leslie toyed with his comforter nervously.

"Well, as luck would have it, most of my stuff is already in boxes, I am head over heels in love with you, and I want to spend every moment that I can with you. Plus, Andy'll be living here alone for the next six months meaning that there is a very large chance that he will burn the house down and I won't have a home to come back to. Therefore, I propose that when I come back in six months, we start making our own home. Together. So, City Councilwoman Knope, how do you vote?"

She looked up at him sharply, slowly mirroring Ben's smile as she let everything sink in.

"Really?"

"Really."

Leslie's eyes began to fill with tears as her smile grew even wider, another snapshot that Ben tucked away in his mind.

"Aye," she said, her voice cracking just the slightest. "Strongly, completely, irrefutably in favor."

"Then the measure passes unanimously. Congratulations Councilwoman, you've just found yourself a new roommate."

"Oh my God, I can't believe that we're really doing this," she squealed excitedly and Ben could already tell that the wheels in her head were in motion. "Okay, so it's gonna be a difficult project, but I have a few months to make room for all of your stuff at my place. I'll just have to reorganize some piles and-"

"Uhm, Leslie?" Ben cut her off, his face uncertain and apologetic. "I was thinking that maybe we could try to find a new place. I love you, but your house is kind of a, well, scary nightmare hoarder nest. I just think that it would be better if we got something together. A brand new place with a lot less...stuff."      

She looked at him skeptically, her eyes narrowing as she formulated an argument. But just as soon as that look came, it disappeared, her shoulders sagging in defeat.

"Ugh, I guess you're right. I mean, if you, Ann, and the Health Department all feel that way, maybe it is a bit of a mess. Okay, fine. We'll find something new. This is going to be so exciting. I can't wait until I put a binder together. What kind of architectural styles do you prefer? Number of bedrooms? Bathrooms? Trampoline room?"

"Leslie, whoa, calm down. We have six months to talk this over and make a decision." Ben let out a yawn as his eyes grew heavy, the day finally catching up to him. "Right now I just want to cuddle up and go to sleep. We'll figure all of this other stuff out later, okay?"

"Right, later. But it's going to be perfect. I know it."

Snuggling up to him, Leslie pressed a brief yet passionate kiss against Ben's lips before dropping her head back against his chest, his arms immediately seeking out their customary place around her waist after turning off his bedside lamp. Ben whispered a soft 'I love you' into her hair which she echoed against his skin, the two slowly drifting off to sleep in his room for the last time.

***

Mankind prides itself on its relentless pursuit of knowledge, striving to unravel the great mysteries of the universe. However, there is so much that is overlooked in the commotion of daily life, so many variables that make a future impossible to predict—so much that is left unknown.

No one knows why two couples are clinging to one another outside of an airport terminal in Indianapolis, the pain of separation manifesting long before they even part.

No one knows that the lanky man boarding his flight to Washington D.C. will spend the next four days unable to fall asleep without hearing the sound of his girlfriend's voice, or that it will be a month before he can bring himself to eat waffles again.

No one knows that hidden deep within the recesses of his suitcase is a ring. A ring that he had purchased weeks prior amidst speeches and debates and all night strategy sessions.  

There was no plan; no timeline of events. Would he propose in six months? A year? Would he drop down on one knee in the middle of a park or an elegant restaurant, or would he simply ask her casually over breakfast one morning in their home? No one knows.

But she was the one. Of that, he knew for certain.

 

 


End file.
